(While invigilating and seeing a poster of Soogdiere – mammals )
Glossary- to be read before commencing the poem.
maanhaarwolf – aardwolf
ysbeer – polar bear
kameelperd – giraffe
ystervark – porcupine
rolystervark – hedgehog
luiperd – leopard
seekoei – hippopotamus
wasbeertjie – raccoon
Invigilating one day in the confines of Kamer 6
An English teacher saw a poster of mammals on show:
All kinds there were, really quite a mix,
But the names they bore were a struggle to know.
He had learnt Afrikaans while at school
Enough, he thought, for passable translation,
But felt more and more of a fool
With the names of his own creation.
A moon-haired wolf was his first attempt
But he knew it fell short of the mark,
With its bushy tail that’s rather unkempt
No wonder it only comes out after dark.
He knew the ice bear’s not seen hereabouts,
Though on classroom posters he’s all the rage,
Where it’s true to say he never pouts
But bears the look of a seasoned sage.
Why the camelhorse was named that way
Was something his logic could not follow:
But the creature would not be around today
Were that long neck unable to swallow.
The iron pig defied his imagination the most:
Neither metal nor pork, it shuffled about,
Safe in the knowledge it’s unfit for toast
And certainly a poor second to trout.
But the rolling iron pig’s another story:
Nothing black-and-white here, he’s a puzzle:
A real old chestnut if he’s feeling nasty
But, when unrolled, quite cute to cuddle.
Now, what about this lazy horse, he thought?
By all accounts, certainly a misnomer:
Nothing idle in the way his prey is caught –
Hunting’s not easy when you’re a loner.
Look, why was a sea cow in a river bed –
Displacing half the ocean with her head
He thought she would be in the waves
Which she dips coyly when she bathes.
Finally he came to the last on the wall
The little washing bear, once called a ’coon in the States
But now referred to as raccoon by all,
Ever so cute, stripy and never short of mates.
Never would he see these animals the same,
He thought as he left the room.
What another language can do with a name
May take you to the dark side of the moon.
