In praise of invigilation

(Written after an article decrying the task was put up on the staffroom noticeboard)

We have recently read of the trials of invigilation
loaded with a heap of righteous indignation
and it’s about time we heard the other side
of the noble profession’s smoothest ride.
 
For starters, the equation of invigilation
is balanced very sweetly by a lack of preparation;
furthermore, instead of incessant class chatter,
one can revel in the quiet of one’s grey matter.
 
It all comes down to the way of approach
(where the article’s author needs a life coach);
so, if invigilation gets your knickers in a knot,
listen, and learn how to handle your lot.
 
Be cool – looking for distraction
is the worst of all possible action–
invigilation is an exercise in stillness:
practised well, it cures mental illness.
 
Remember: small things occupy small minds,
so don’t start counting pens of different kinds,
seeking distraction is a fruitless endeavour:
rather make the task a time to savour.
 
For when is it that you have time for yourself
to ruminate at ease on your mental health?
How often do you slowly pace, not race, glide, not stride
and feel neutral about a pupil you can hardly abide?
 
When else can you get so into the zone,
untouchable and barred from your phone?
Invigilation is, indeed, a great way to meditate:
practised purely some have been known to levitate.
(It is even said that the Swami Babarama
reached nirvana while invigilating Drama)
 
So, though we may not yet be near that stage,
it would be well to heed the advice of the sage:
“See no problem and find the solution…
invigilation cures all mental pollution.”